


Communication is key

by ImBlackKitten



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Parenting, Crack, Gen, Modern Era, One Shot, Short One Shot, levi is bad with kids, parenting, rated T for levi's language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImBlackKitten/pseuds/ImBlackKitten
Summary: "You can't adopt a kid without consulting me first."
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Communication is key

It was a rainy, midfall day. Amber and golden leaves were crushed under the water pounding down on them. Horns blared in the distance, cars skidding along roads and the traffic light reflected on every puddle in sight. The grass was in a sorry state, miserable strands weeping and withered from the cold. 

I had a monotonous day at work. I was an accountant at Ernst & Young, slowly punching numbers all day. My brain was fried, and I could do with a scotch. My walk home from the firm was boorish, and my umbrella did little to keep me dry. 

I entered the apartment I shared with my friend, Erwin. He was a few years older than me, but he cleaned up after himself, which was more that I could say for Hanji who was a walking tornado. I took off my coat and shoes and put them in the closet to keep tidy. I could hear Erwin speaking to someone in the living room, so I turned the corner and was face to face with a young child about four or so years old. Erwin was playing with some blocks with the kid, identifying letters and such. 

“Who’s kid is this?” I asked, pointing to the creature inhabiting my living room.

“Mine,” he answered nonchalantly. 

“Maria?” I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a kid? We’ve been living together for years, Erwin.”

“No, not Maria. I adopted him.”

“What?” I asked incredulously. 

“I adopted a kid, his name is Eren,” Erwin explained. 

I blinked a few times, ransacking my brain to try to remember if he’d even mentioned anything of the sort to me before.

“You can’t adopt a kid without consulting me first,” I argued.

“I can, so I did,” he answered calmly. 

“But,” I stammered, “It’s a kid, Erwin.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“You can’t just adopt a kid without telling me,” I raised my voice.

Erwin sighed, “what do you want me to do? Bring him back to the orphanage?”

“Yes!”

“Levi, that was rhetorical.”

“I don’t care, bring him back. I’m not going to have a kid muck up my living space.”

“You’re taking this rather poorly.”

“People don’t adopt kids without consulting their roommates first!” I was beyond angry at this point.

“But he needed a home, didn’t you Eren?” He pouted at Eren, who frowned in response. 

“Bring him back,” I ordered. 

“No, I love and care for him,” Erwin told me.

“You met him today, Erwin,” I groaned.

“That doesn’t matter. He’s my kid and I’m going to raise him.”

“Why didn’t you ask me about this first?”

“Because I knew you’d say no,” he shrugged, moving a block.

“Bring him back.”

“You’re being very repetitive today, are you feeling alright, Levi?”

“No, there’s a tiny human in my domain, make it go away.”

Erwin laughed at that, “Eren is here to stay.”

“No.” I was stubborn, too stubborn. 

“I can’t just bring him back to the orphanage. This purchase is non-refundable,” Erwin joked.

“This is no laughing matter, Erwin! What are you going to do when you’re at work, or when you’ve got a business trip halfway across the world?”

“I figured you could take care of him then,” he reasoned.

“No!” I shouted, fully raising my voice finally. 

“Or I could hire a nanny,” Erwin concluded.

“Bring him back to where he came from, please,” I begged.

“Levi using the magical word, should I be concerned?” Erwin joked.

“Yes. Bring the kid back, or I will.”

“You’re not going to do that,” Erwin stated smugly. 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.”

“He makes me happy,” Erwin said.

I hesitated before I said anything more. I knew that Erwin was having trouble ever since he lost his arm in the accident, and because of that his relationship with Maria crumbled. If having a kid was going to make Erwin smile again, then so be it.

“There will be no yelling or shouting,” I started, pointing my finger aggressively at the child, “he will clean up after himself. He will be enrolled in daycare and extracurricular activities. I don’t want to see any unhealthy food in our kitchen. And so help me if he stains the couch or messes with my tea.”

“I’m glad we could come to an agreement.”

“Don’t pull this shit again, Erwin.”

Erwin gasped and covered Eren's ears, “Levi, language!”

“I don’t give a fuck, you cock-sucking ass-fucker.”

“Is that an invita-”

“No.”


End file.
